in this part,i called being stupid.

future.one word yang menurut gw curious,full of mystery.nobody can predict our future.

tarot,paranormal,palmistry,different lines and their meanings, hand shapes, fingers shapes, health carreer and love?

well i'm not ready to make it.i still trying to loose this 10 gallons head.too many fear inside my head,i'm afraid about my future.

dad j said that,

"everything are already set.

who will you meet someday?,

when will you get married someday and with who?,

and everything.

don't be afraid,every worry inside your head will go away soon,every little thing will be alright.

he said it's just a temporary event."

i knew that.even ini cuma temporary i mean ya tetep aja itu suatu masa yang harus dilewatin.

pada dasarnya hidup itu biasa aja.cuma tekadang kita nya aja acted like a 'drama queen'.

every moments in our life only events of life.dimana ada masa kita happy or sadcaused any reason.

sometimes we just enjoy that moment,feel that moment as deep as you fall apart that happiness.

sometimes we don't feel how precious someone,how expensive that moment

and sometimes we feel that moment doesn't mean anything then someday you'll miss that moment,you'll miss that person you loved,the person who loved you that much,how they tried make you happy,feel proud to have them,and tried to make you know the meaning of life is.

sometimes when you're really fall into a part,called love.you always want to make every part looks perfect in that event.sacrifising everything to make your partner feel special,loved.

ngga ada orang yang ngga being stupid gara-gara 1 hal.they called love.

mungkin kalo cinta-cintaan buat orang seumuran kayak gw cuma impulse.

semakin haus semakin ngejar.

i felt itu namanya sayang.

buat mereka yang shared their life sama gw,(well he's older jauhhh dr angka belasan,tapi puluhan [read:tua]).

he said,

"shir itu jauh dari kata sayang.sayang itu butuh proven bertahun-tahun,dimana kamu itu ngasih careness,bukan forcing someone you loved buat givin back apa yang udah kamu kasih.sekarang" ini itu cuma hasrat pengen milikin,some other people out there said obsession.kamu itu masih belajar.learning what's the meaning of life?.ngebangun mental buat "future"."

kadang gw ngga ngerti,ngga cuma 1 dua orang yang kasih advices yang bersifat mendewasakan gw.cara pandang mereka lain-lain.entah gw yang dibikin ngerasa berotak kecil(*read: stupid) aja dengan advices" itu.

semua orang pasi ngelawatin masa-masa kayak gini.ngerasa takut,ngerasa kecil,ngerasa dirinya sampah,ngerasa ngga punya rasa confident tinggi buat face the truth of life.and i'm one.stupid :p