.

It's days like this I wish that I, wish that I had stayed asleep
It's times like these that make it so difficult to be
The light at the end, the crack in the sky
there's no promise for release
No way for me to get away
And all I'm trying to do is breath

Searching...for something more
Searching...for something right
Searching...for a sense of clarity
Searching...for a place to die!

Days like this I really wish, I really wish I wasn't me
It's times like this that make it hard, makes it hard to fuckin' see
No light at the end, no crack in the sky
everyone ends up deceased
A life like mine makes a man, turns a grown man to a flea

Piece by piece, I slowly fade away,
I slowly drift apart
I see a different world, closing in on the future
Sorry to be so cynical but it's all I know
Piece by piece, I slowly start to change
I slowly start to change!

vain

gw ngga ngerti gw kenapa..

kadang gw mulai suicide lagi,kadang eneg bangettt gini terus

berasa TOLOL,TOLOL dan TOLOL.

rasa nyesek bikingw rasanya mau ngamuk..

akhirnya gw terus"an giini,

i'm stuck in the middle.

i want to move on..

but every moment make me feel this way.

d it's hurt.

when i'm missing you this much,

but u're gone.

choose to left.

DAMN!

god help me outta here,remove him from my heart.now all in vain.not have been possible.love story is always i proud of,you change all.guess who made me this way,without ever seeing,how I try the best for yourself.
why can not you who love me sincerely
i was not a perfect girl,but I deserve being loved sincerity
now let time answer ..

fear.

many fear that I have,

when I was growing up,

I understand the name of responsibility,

I fell in an increasingly difficult life challenges,

and cycle time changes,

through many smiles and tears,

while I found that I loved him,

then I say the sacred promise

through the various events of life,

experiencing life changes,

experiencing new things are scary,t

hen I'm getting old,

when their loved one at a time I went,

when I faced many failures,when jealousy and selfish-threatening,

where I get lost in space and time,when I gave birth to a child that I later,

when I became a mother,

when my son started to pull away and understand the meaning of life,when my spouse left, ahead of me.

while I was getting fed up of life,sat in a house containing the later age peers.

I was very scared.

aku

aku dilahirkan sebagai pemimpi,

ya,bukan seorang yang kaya akan kehidupan.

tapi aku kaya akan kebebasan.

dimana aku berfantasi.

disana,ada padang rumput yang sangat hijau,aku berbaring diatasnya.

mengenakan gaun putih,polos.

ku genggam bunga yang telah kering kerontang,

disana aku memiliki sebuah tombol,

bertuliskan,"REWIND"

semuanya berjalan mundur.

aku tidak bisa masuk begitu saja kedalam angan.

namun semuanya terulang.

begitu tombol itu memanas.

kucoba terus,namun.benda itu padam.

padang rumput yang hijau itu menjadi mengering.

hanya tinggal aku,dan bunga darinya.

satu hal yang dapat aku gambarkan.hancur seketika

lagi.

kian hari kian menipis,rasanya semakin perih,begitu sesekali melihat kebelakang.

"CAPEK!"

kalau saja aku bisa manjangkau telingamu,

ingin rasanya aku mengusir kesepianku,

ku sayat tangan ini setiap sesak aku rasakan,

duduk di sudut ruangan,aku berteriak

aku menangis,

aku mengeluh kepada Tuan Penyair,

kepadaNya aku berkata,

aku lelah,

keingian membutakan aku,

hasrat membuat aku menjadi bisu,

kulit ini terus terkoyak,

pembuluh ini seakan pecah seketika.

rasanya aku tidak lagi menghargai kehidupan.

berikutnya,

aku akan terus mencoba,meneguk pelan-pelan karangan pahit ini.

tanpa cela.

tanpa ada kata.

aku yakin penyair yang mengarang cerita hidupku ada.

DIA 'ADA'.

maka perlahan Penyair akan menyirnakan.

kebutaan,

kebisuan,

segala kesepian,

baik tuan Penyair,

kini aku kembali bangun dari situ,

ya,tempat dimana ku jatuh beberapa waktu lalu.

Tuan aku ingin tidur,

jangan sampai mereka membangunkan aku,

ya.itu karena aku ingi merasakan kebebasan.

bilamana dia datang kepada aku,

biarlah dia membangunkan aku,

sesungguhnya dia akan mengajakku,

berbicara dan merasakan kebebasan.

Tuan,aku enggan menjadi penonton acara kebebasan,

jujur aku iri.

dimana melihat mereka tidak terpasung dalam penjara kesedihan,

penuh kemunafikan,kenaifan,kehancuran.

Tuan telah membalikkan tanganNya.

aku berjalan menggunakan kedua tangan ku.

kedua kaki ku menyentuh masa lampau,

itu,hal itu..

aku terpasung.

masih disudut yang sama,aku bernyanyi bersama kebutaan ku.

air mataku menari menyambut kebisuan,

lagu ini terus ku nyanyikan,

murni dari luka ku yang berdarah,

dan bibirku yang tersenyum.

*cher

god,i miss him

Everyday and every night, this feeling I'd fight

Try as I might but I wont win, I surrender,

I'd die You are winning here alright

Every morning when the sun would shine on me

I'd flash a smile but deep inside

I feel so sad and lonely

I need you here and now

I miss you

Its crazy to pretend that I don't think of you

The more this feeling just seems to grow and grow

I miss you

how much longer can I hold on to ?

Maybe you can come and tell me that you miss me too

(i wish!)

Miss you

All I want is for this love to last forever

"You walked away, never came back, " :'(

(please take me back to the start)

I tried to recover I can't bear it boy alright

When I hear a song that we had used to share

I'll try as I might to hide the tears,

and when the pain is over

Ill wish that you are near

i miss yaa.t

heart of matter

I got the call today, I didn't wanna hear
But I knew that it would come
An old true friend of ours was talkin' on the phone
She said you found someone
And I thought of all the bad luck,
And all the struggles we went through
How I lost me and you lost you
What are these voices outside love's open door
Make us throw off our contentment
And beg for something more?

I've been learning to live without you now
But I miss you sometimes
The more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning them again
I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

These times are so uncertain
There's a yearning undefined
And people filled with rage
We all need a little tenderness
How can love survive in such a graceless age
And the trust and self-assurance that lead to happiness
They're the very things we kill, I guess
Pride and competition cannot fill these empty arms
And the work they put between us,
You know it doesn't keep us warm

I've been trying to live without you now
But I miss you, baby
The more I know, the less I understand
And all the things I thought I figured out, I have to learn again
I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But my will gets weak
And my heart is so shattered
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

All the people in your life who've come and gone
They let you down, you know they hurt your pride
Better put it all behind you; cause life goes on
You keep carrin' that anger, it'll eat you up inside

I wanna be happily everafter
And my heart is so shattered
But I know it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
Because the flesh will get weak
And the ashes will scatter
So I'm thinkin' about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if you don't love me anymore
Even if you don't love me anymore

i love my mom,

semuanya semakin berat rasanya,
sampe saatnya gw liat mami nangis,rasanya ancur.
dia bilang dia sedih liat gw gini terus,
dia bilang ngga tau lagi gimana nyuruh gw makan,
ngga tau gimana lagi buat gw ceria kayak dulu.
katanya gw berubah.banyak.
dia udah mulai putus asa,ngadepin gw yang makin lama makin berubah.
susah rasanya buat senyum apa lagi ketawa.
ngga ada sedikitpun keinginan dari gw sendiri buat senyum.
selalu bohong sama orang,gw bilang"i'm okay"
well i'm not okay.sebenernya capek gini terus.cuma ngga tau mau mulai dari mana.

rewind please..

as we often sang together in the car at that time ..

"wonderful world",

"I see trees of green, red roses too
I see them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself what a wonderful world.
I see skies of blue and clouds of white
The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night
And I think to myself what a wonderful world.
The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of people going by
I see friends shaking hands saying how do you do
They're really saying I love you.
I hear babies crying, I watch them grow
They'll learn much more than I'll never know
And I think to myself what a wonderful world
Yes I think to myself what a wonderful world"

love.

happiness is for those who hurt,
those who have and are looking for and
those who have tried.
because they can appreciate how
the importance of people who have touched the lives
them.

True love is when you
crying and still care for him,
was when he did not care about you and
you are still waiting for the faithful.
Is when the begin to love others and
You still can smile and say
"I'm happy for you"

love is not how you
forget him when he made a mistake,
but how you forgive.

Is not how you listen,
but how you understand.
is not what you see,

but what do you think,
is not how you let go of it
but how you survive.

Maybe time will come where you have to
stop loving someone, not because people
It stopped loving us but because

we realized that the person would be happier
if we let it go.

sometimes, people love the most is
people who never expressed love
to you, for fear you turn and
gives the distance, and if a time out, you will
realize that she is the love that you do not
realize. (Kahlil Gibran)

dedicated to someone,*d

love.

happiness is for those who hurt,
those who have and are looking for and
those who have tried.
because they can appreciate how
the importance of people who have touched the lives
them.

True love is when you
crying and still care for him,
was when he did not care about you and
you are still waiting for the faithful.
Is when the begin to love others and
You still can smile and say
"I'm happy for you"

love is not how you
forget him when he made a mistake,
but how you forgive.

Is not how you listen,
but how you understand.
is not what you see,

but what do you think,
is not how you let go of it
but how you survive.

Maybe time will come where you have to
stop loving someone, not because people
It stopped loving us but because

we realized that the person would be happier
if we let it go.

sometimes, people love the most is
people who never expressed love
to you, for fear you turn and
gives the distance, and if a time out, you will
realize that she is the love that you do not
realize. (Kahlil Gibran)

dedicated to someone,*d

sick

increasingly painful. I was lonely.

shortness of it..remember everything while my heart is empty.

I want to rip my chest.

I cut my veins.

I think I lived enough.

it feels heavy.

after having my eye blindness.

after it made me to be mute and deaf.

I'm not dead quarter.

my soul and body to die half.

remaining stuck into the rest of my life compulsion to stay.

I tried to stand.

I failed.

I tear up.

I'm tired of always nosebleeds because of holding tight in the chest.

"Lord, take me away far from here,

I was afraid to live

I was vulnerable ..

Sir help me, I'm tired knees,

I'm tired of complaining,

I want to be just a pile of ashes,

like the old days before I feel alive "

ten gallons head

aku berlari tanpa arah
angin malam menusuk tulangku
menangis,
aku tersedak selang aku bernafas.
hanya malam yang menemani aku saat itu,
hujan enggan hadir,
begitu juga bintang.
dia murka,
sebab aku berkata kepada Tuan-ku
"Tuan aku jenuh,
ya,aku bosan hidup.
dari pada aku terus mengeluh,
dan KAU lelah mendengar.
akan jauh lebih baik,kau tarik aku.
kalau saja kebutaan ku bisa berbicara.
maka dia akan berkata,
'jahanam kau'.
sesungguhnya mata ini lelah,
beliau terus tertutup,
kebebasan.itu yang dia inginkan.
Tuan-ku,berhenti mengasihaniku.
ambil aku.dan tarik aku dari sini.
sesungguhnya aku tak mampu berdiri,
terlalu lama berlutut,
hingga tulang menembus kulitku.
tak mau aku mati dimakan zaman.
ku buang semua rasa perih,
rasa nyeri yang begitu dalam,
hingga punggungku mulai ambruk,
badan ku mulai tumbang,
dan tulangku mulai rapuh.
Tuan-ku,ambil lah budak mu ini"

sampah

kali ini aku duduk diatas ranjang seorang yang telah tak bernyawa.aku merasa seakan dia hidup kembali.mungkin aku gila.atau mungkin aku seperempat sadar?
diluar begitu deras.
aku berkata kepada hujan.
aku ingin sekali rasanya berteriak,entah kepada siapa aku marah.
aku murka.
rasanya dada ku tersayat,
ku terus mencoba menggunakan topeng dengan seribu wajah.
aku menipu semua orang.
aku tersenyum.
tapi sesungguhnya aku hancur.
aku pincang,
aku penuh akan luka,
ya,seakan-akan wajahku robek,
sudah kujahit.
tapi karna aku terus saja terjatuh,maka kembali robek.
selang pergantian menit,aku merasakan seonggok cinta datang.aku bahagia.
merasa sangat bahagia.serasa tidak menggunakan topeng,serasa hidup sangat sempurna.
hanya hitungan sekian detik aku merasakan itu.
aku kembali jatuh,
entah.
bukan yang pertama,
yang kedua..
bukan juga yang terakhir.
hingga akhirnya tiba aku berdiri dengan satu kaki.
berdiri di sebuah persimpangan.
entah jalur mana yang akan aku pilih.
semuanya gelap,saat itu hujan,
saat itu juga lukaku kembali terbuka.
akhirnya aku mati rasa.
aku tidak meminta belas kasihan,
kepada mereka yang datang melewati persimpangan,
dengan topeng itu,aku tersenyum.padahal mereka mentertawai aku,mereka berkata aku pincang,mereka terus meludahi aku,berteriak aku pecundang,aku sampah,aku tissue.
jika saja aku gambarkan apa rasanya saat ini,
abstrak,absurd.
nalar ku tidak berjalan,logika tidak mampu berkata apa-apa.
akhirnya aku menjadi bisu,aku buta.
dia yang aku kira cinta,pergi.
seakan semua tidak punya arti.
isakan tangis terus saja melayukan mata,
bibirku bergetar,
aku terus bertanya kepada-NYA,
"Tuan,budakmu menyerah."

Pain.

i don't know how many times i fall.
this is not the first time i fall.
it's not the second time too,
and it's not the last time i fall.
they said it called "pain".
i always thinking about,
"pain"
can you tell me what does it mean?
what is pain?
i haven't found the answer yet.

bored

Kosong.
Rasa nyeri udah ngga ada.sama sekali.
Semuanya berubah,ketika hujan berkata kepadaku,semuanya itu kosong.
Hujan bilang,
Aku sia-sia.
Sia-sia,tidak memiliki arti.
Aku tidak punya alasan yang kuat untuk membalikkan semua perkataan hujan.
Aku tidak cukup kuat untuk melawan hujan.
Aku cuma setitik tinta.
Begitu hujan datang,
Aku melebur bersamanya.
Aku tidak sepekat minyak,
Jika hujan mengguyur minyak,minyak tidak akan melebur menjadi satu.
Dia tidak akan hidup bersama dengan air.
Karna minyak punya pendirian yang cukup kuat,
Lebih dari tinta.
Lebih dari garam.
Aku merasa sama seperti tinta pada air,
Hanya mengkeruhkan air.
Merasa sama seperti garam yg larut dalam air,
Yang hanya memberi rasa asin dalam air.
Itu aku.

dear my lovely grandpa,

opa..

aku kangennnnn banget"..!!

maaf aku ngga sempet kerumah,

aku terlalu sibuk sama dia,aku sayanggg banget" opa sama dia..

aku sedih gede opa,coba ada alat buat mundurin waktu..

kata dia,ini namanya hidup,ngga ada rewind button. :(

kita udah lama ngga jalan pagi lagi since opa ngga bisa jalan lancar.

inget kita suka breakfast bareng,lunch bareng,dinner bareng..

terus kita nonton tv bareng"..

sorry ya opa semenjak i udah smp i udah ngga nginep" lagi kayak biasanya..

sampe waktunya aku kenal sama namanya dance,pacaran..

sampe sempet opa sama oma terus"an telfon setiap pagi buat ucapin goodmorning ke aku,ke cici,ke stan..

cuma beberapa kali aku telfon opa..

sampe sempet opa bialng berkali" kalo opa kangan aku..

aku nyesel,ngga ada pas opa pulang,

terakhir kali kita sempet cerita" tentang sekolah aku,tentang aku nanti mau kuliah dimana..

terus suapinin opa yang terakhir.

aku inget banget makan nasi,sama sayur yang oma masak,terus pake daging di tim. :)

banyakk bgt opa makannya..aku seneng..

terus opa bilang ke oma kalo seneng aku suapinin..

maaf yah opa..

nanti aku janji kita ketemu nanti aku pasti suapinin lagi..

nanti aku cerita" lagi yang lucu-lucu.. :)

you're the best grandpa ever..ever..

i love you grandpa.

i'll miss you so much..

jangan genit" ya di surga.. :)

iseng-iseng

bukan ku lepaskan pakaian" ini,tapi ku robekkan kulit ini.


aku marah.sedih.abstrak


aku tinggalkan semua emosi dan ego dibelakang.


ku lempar itu jauh.sangat jauh.


ya,terkadang aku muak.


aku lelah.


ya,aku menyerah.saat itu.

aku lelah terus memakai topeng ini.

ingin rasanya ku lempar dan ku bakar tepat didepan mereka.

ya,mereka yang tiada hentinya tertawa,

meludahi semua cerita di hidup ku.

sudah jenuh aku merdeka dalam kesendirian.

aku lelah untuk terus mempelajari semua yang harus ku pahami.

bila di suatu tempat diatas sana,

ya,yang katanya surga itu.

kini aku bersujud,

bibir ku bergetar,

air itu terus membasahi pipi.

kukatakan padaNYA.

"terlalu lama aku mengeluh,

terlalu lama aku marah,aku merasa muak.

kini aku menyerah.aku ini budakMU Tuan.

aku hanya sekumpulan tanah,

ya,aku sadar akan itu.."

ya.

ini yang mereka bilang "hidup".

hidup tapi aku mati rasa.

*imagination

someday,

sunday morning at 04.00 a.m,

our body lie on this white sands,

it's just you and me.

one happy morning two people will share,

where there's only us.

one warm february hearts will see a world,

where we could share our story,

we laugh,smile..

someday on Sunday morning there'll be no tears

we'll see sun rising,

from east to west,

when you hug me tightly and say,

"baby,i'm here.this is our first time watching sunrise.where it's just you and me.

where i could see you smile.."

then i said,

"baby,thank you..i could see sunrise with you,finally..i could listen the wind and seas.and the best part is,right here with you..:)"

then we will watch the sunset melt through an ocean blue,

having dinner under the stars,

there's a chocolate cake,

we're wearing the same colour clothes,

yeah it's white,

i'm wearing a white dress,

and you are wearing a white shirt and white pants,

then we walking trough red roses on the sands,

there's so much candles,

"i .l. y"

we'll dance all night long after dinner,

then i said,"have you ever seen heaven yet?some people says,there's a place of great happiness, delight, or pleasure.this is why they called heaven.i could feel it.like they said,"happiness"."

i wish it isn't just an imagination :(

rise and fall.

semua orang ada masanya.

RISE and FALL.
Sometimes in life you feel the fight is over,then it means its time to fall after all you rised.
after being a "super".

pertama,
seperti kertas kosong,
then buat imajinasi tentang suatu hal,
mulai buat sketch di kertas itu,
after that pasti muncul idea-idea baru,kayak diwarnain,atau mungkin ditambahin sesuatu biar berkesan hidup.
jadi suatu lukisan.
setelah itu abis dimakan masa.
semua tergantung pilihan orang yang gambar tadi.

kalo kata guru sosiology disekolah,
"hukum rimba"
siapa yang kuat dia yang bertahan,siapa yang nyerah dia kalah,dan mati. :p

"I know that everything is gonna change,when things change,life was never gonna be the same
Sometimes it's heaven sent,Then we head back to hell again.
We rise and we fall"

whic one do you choose?
rise or fall?

in this part,i called being stupid.

future.one word yang menurut gw curious,full of mystery.nobody can predict our future.

tarot,paranormal,palmistry,different lines and their meanings, hand shapes, fingers shapes, health carreer and love?

well i'm not ready to make it.i still trying to loose this 10 gallons head.too many fear inside my head,i'm afraid about my future.

dad j said that,

"everything are already set.

who will you meet someday?,

when will you get married someday and with who?,

and everything.

don't be afraid,every worry inside your head will go away soon,every little thing will be alright.

he said it's just a temporary event."

i knew that.even ini cuma temporary i mean ya tetep aja itu suatu masa yang harus dilewatin.

pada dasarnya hidup itu biasa aja.cuma tekadang kita nya aja acted like a 'drama queen'.

every moments in our life only events of life.dimana ada masa kita happy or sadcaused any reason.

sometimes we just enjoy that moment,feel that moment as deep as you fall apart that happiness.

sometimes we don't feel how precious someone,how expensive that moment

and sometimes we feel that moment doesn't mean anything then someday you'll miss that moment,you'll miss that person you loved,the person who loved you that much,how they tried make you happy,feel proud to have them,and tried to make you know the meaning of life is.

sometimes when you're really fall into a part,called love.you always want to make every part looks perfect in that event.sacrifising everything to make your partner feel special,loved.

ngga ada orang yang ngga being stupid gara-gara 1 hal.they called love.

mungkin kalo cinta-cintaan buat orang seumuran kayak gw cuma impulse.

semakin haus semakin ngejar.

i felt itu namanya sayang.

buat mereka yang shared their life sama gw,(well he's older jauhhh dr angka belasan,tapi puluhan [read:tua]).

he said,

"shir itu jauh dari kata sayang.sayang itu butuh proven bertahun-tahun,dimana kamu itu ngasih careness,bukan forcing someone you loved buat givin back apa yang udah kamu kasih.sekarang" ini itu cuma hasrat pengen milikin,some other people out there said obsession.kamu itu masih belajar.learning what's the meaning of life?.ngebangun mental buat "future"."

kadang gw ngga ngerti,ngga cuma 1 dua orang yang kasih advices yang bersifat mendewasakan gw.cara pandang mereka lain-lain.entah gw yang dibikin ngerasa berotak kecil(*read: stupid) aja dengan advices" itu.

semua orang pasi ngelawatin masa-masa kayak gini.ngerasa takut,ngerasa kecil,ngerasa dirinya sampah,ngerasa ngga punya rasa confident tinggi buat face the truth of life.and i'm one.stupid :p

untitled.

sitting on a couch.listening "three litte bird-bob marley,
"don't worry about a thing,cause every little thing is gonna be alright.." :)
holding my teddy bear.i smell my teddy,i feels like him.i could feel him around.
then i thinking about something ,i don't know why i always woke up too early.3 am?
i always dreaming about him.there's me and him,we spent everyday together.feels like i don't want anything waking me up like usual.i want to stay in my dream.
there's a space in my heart and my mind.
it's his place.i stored him there.but then he left.he choosed leave.he left.
i will make that space like used to.it's for him.even i don't know he will come again or not.i guess not.
i guess he hated me.he didn't love me.mybe never.
loving someone is not what you get from someone.but how you loving them,and giving them your best.not forcing someone you loved to love you back,to give you careness,give what you need.
i'm trying to act like 17,
i was suicide.successfully live in a trash.felt like i do't have anyone loved me that much.they've just laughing at me.they keep shouting at me,they keep yelling at me,they said i am stupid,wierd,an idiot,i'm such a loser.well i realizied,how bored he is to me :(
i don't have much things to be respect.i don't have any precious things.i don't have a pretty face.i am me.i am shirley.
shirley who trying to change herself into a better one.being a very good girl.
i guess i still stay here.in a same place.which there's only me.and teddy bear.it will stay here with me.
everything reminding me of him,when he said how pretty i am,tellin me i was his baby girl,tellin me how he love me.
then i start missing him,
every tears we spent,
every happiness we got,
every moments we made,
every stories and laughs we shared,
every jokes,
every warmness that i had,
every words you spoke,
every smile you gave,
every pictures we took,
every song we sang together,
everything reminding me of you.

thank you for being my baby boy.
thank you for loving me and care to me.
thank you for every surprise.
thank you for every letter u gave,
every chocolate cake :)
one thing d,i miss you gede sekali :p
and i still love you like used to *DT

the carousel

riding along on this carousel
from beginning to end
they'll come a day you and i might day
we'd like to try it again
just riding along in the wind chasing these dreams all over again
then maybe this time we'll stay on this ride hoping it never ends.
but its so hard to tell on this carousel
but its so hard to tell on this carousel
but its so hard to tell on this carousel
maybe ill find myself this time going around once again
its a one way ride kept this ticket inside
trying to get on once again
just riding along in the wind chasing these dreams all over again
then maybe this time we'll stay on this ride hoping it never ends
but its so hard to tell on this carousel
but its so hard to tell on this carousel
but its so hard to tell on this carousel
i just dont know when it stops spinning around and around
my thoughts still they always turn to you
but its so hard to tell on this carousel
but its so hard to tell on this carousel
but its so hard to tell on this carousel..

sweet

when we had lunch at emilie,you isenggg,cabut rambut i.diiket ke jari i,

you said,"kalo rambutnya putus besok pagi berarti kita emang ga bisa bareng."

ternyata bener.

on 31st jan 2009,we spent a night together :)

this is the first time i spent end year with someone i love to.liat fireworks :)

i could hug you like the last.i kissed you like the last time.

you said,"you are my baby girl" felt like the last time.

i can't.i'm not ready to loose everything :(

i miss those moments :(

i.l.y too much *t