i will be :)

dear d,

There's nothing I could say to you
Nothing I could ever do to make you see
What you mean to me
All the pain, the tears I cried
Still you never said goodbye and now I know
How far you'd goI know I let you down but it's not like that now
This time I'll never let you go
I will be all that you want and get myself together
'Cause you keep me from falling apart
All my life, I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day and make everything okay
I thought that I had everythingI didn't know what life could bring
But now I see, honestlyYou're the one thing I got right
The only one I let inside
Now I can breathe 'cause you're here with me
And if I let you down, I'll turn it all around
'Cause I would never let you go
I will be all that you want and get myself together
'Cause you keep me from falling apart
And all my life, I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day and make everything okay
Without you I can't breathe
I'm not gonna ever, ever let you leave
You're all I got, you're all I want, oh
'Cause without you I don't know what I'd do
I can never, ever live a day without you
Here with me, do you see you're all I need?
And I will be, all that you want and get myself together
'Cause you keep me from falling apart
And all my life, I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day and make everything okay
I will be all that you want and get myself together
'Cause you keep me from falling apartAnd all my life,
I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day and make everything okay

*leona lewis-i will be

yes,i am a bitch!

i can't lie to my self how i hate him when he said i am a bitch ,such a liar bitch,he said that he's just fucked another girl causedhe was pretty drunk.all i can say is thank you for saying that to me.i can't mad or pissed off.i can't hate him.

i know i'm not rich enough for him.i always failed to make him happy ,to make him comfort with me as a girlfriend.it's all my bad habits brought me to this way but i already fixed it one by one.i quit all of em.i always saty at home after school.i never go anywhere every weekend not like i used to.i always trying to sleep even it's hard to sleep.i just spending my time to see him.even if from skype *hahah..

he wanted to me to do all of what he wants,i'd try for those.

i never say "i give up".

don't asky why caused the answer will be the same.

i dun care what shit happened to me,caused i did it,and i am very happy.

i always missing those moments,when we ate kfc *hihih :),

missing those moments when tricked me,missing how he made me jelousy..:)

missing when he gave that rose to me,that necklace,that earrings.

missing how he hugged me tightly and cried,the night before he got back.

missing how he hugged me tightly,and i cried in front my house,saw he leave.

missing him when he rode that letter to me,and i cried.

how i hate myself when anyone could make u happy,and i failed.and i always trying to make u happy with my own way.

how i hate myself and can't stop blaming myself when i remember all of the things when u said,you hate me,i'm really sorry if all of things that i've done it means nothing and for you i'm such a bitch.

hell yeah,

i am a bitch who fell in love with a nice guy like you.

yea i'm a bitch who always waiting for u in front of my laptop,until you wake up and had a good times even if i couldn't see u all the time for real,it's just from skype :)

i am a bitch who always crying all night long and always blaming herself said

"u just fucked another girl out there when u were pretty drunk",and all i could say " thank you for that information" :)

i can't stop hurting myself when u said "u love me in a wrong way",and u didn't like it.guess what?i still trying for that.

listen,

if u need someone to talk to and u feel lonely,

if you need a place where you can run,

if you need a shoulder to cry on,

if you can't sleep,

if you feel so mad,

if u need someone to love you,

here i am,me whiches u said a bitch :)

love,

a girl who really missed u badly.

hugs and kisses,

*shirley

somebody's me..

shirley itu ngga lebih dari seorang pecundang.
aku itu cengeng,
aku itu penakut,
aku itu pencemburu,
maaf shirley ngga setara.kesenjangan.
jauh banget" dari kata sempurna.
mau berusaha mencukupi sendiri,memang butuh waktu.pertanyaan nya masih sama,"sampe kapan?"
kadang keluar kata-kata,nyerah..nyerah.
tapi gw belum siap buat itu.jauh didalam pikiran dan hati masih marah.kalut.ancur.
sempet ngerasa kayak sampah.
ngga punya arti buat org itu,tapi ngga tau kenapa gw selalu berusaha biar punya arti buat orang itu.
rasanya bersalah banget setiap kali ngga bisa dan ngga mampu buat dia seneng.
kemudian ego bilang,"kan gw udah usaha,kenapa ngga dihargain?"
tapi kembali lagi gw bilang sama diri gw sendiri,"terussss!!!dia pasti bakal seneng..inget suatu hari nantii..:)"
ibarat jatoh,gw udah nyusrukkk lepekk wahh udah ngga berbentukk deh tuh kotorrnya..
tapi setiap gw denger dia bilang,"i love you",then i said,"i love you too.." terus dia bilangdia bilang "i know "..
gw ngerasa ego gw itu udah mati total!
mati rasa.
gw ngga bisa marah sama dia sedikit pun!
gw selalu ngerasaaa salahh banget kalo ngga bisa buat dia ketawa kayak temen kecilnya bisa buat dia ketawa.beda.
cemburu.engga sama sekali.
tapi heran.
ngga tau gimana caranya.
maaf gw ngga sekaya itu buat dia seneng.untuk hal itu gw ngga bisa nyalahin bapak gw nyalahin tuhan,nyalahin waktu,nyalahin keadaan.x(

i want u to remember this;
"And before you set me free..
Somebody wants you
Somebody needs you
Somebody dreams about you every single night
Somebody can't breath without you, it's lonely
Somebody hopes that one day you will see
That Somebody's Me.."


i.l.y *D.

terkadang kenapa apa yang kita mau selalu ngga sesuai apa yg kita harapkan sebelumnya.depresi.sejuta rasa,sampai rasanya obsesi menjadi satu hal yang menjadi racun dalam benak.egois turut tercampur didalamnya.cemburu telah sukses membunuh pikiran dan akal sehat.
selalu menyalahkan keadaan,menyalahkan diri sendiri,terus menyalahkan waktu.

everything will be alright..:)

"Sedih saat kau tak yakin kepadaku akan cintamu..
Jalan berliku takkan membuatku menyerah akan cintaku
Tatap mataku dan kau akan tau semuanya yg aku rasakan
Aku bertahan karna ku yakin cintamu kepadaku
Sekeras kau coba tuk mematikan hatiku
Tak akan terjadi yg aku tau kau hanya untukku
Aku bertahan ku akan tetap pada pendirianku..
Sekeras kau coba tuk membunuth cintaku
Yang aku tau kau hanya untuk ku.."


Me,
Cewek cengeng yg syg sama D.

everything will be alright..:)

"Sedih saat kau tak yakin kepadaku akan cintamu..
Jalan berliku takkan membuatku menyerah akan cintaku
Tatap mataku dan kau akan tau semuanya yg aku rasakan
Aku bertahan karna ku yakin cintamu kepadaku
Sekeras kau coba tuk mematikan hatiku
Tak akan terjadi yg aku tau kau hanya untukku
Aku bertahan ku akan tetap pada pendirianku..
Sekeras kau coba tuk membunuth cintaku
Yang aku tau kau hanya untuk ku.."


Me,
Cewek cengeng yg syg sama D.

i'm the HAPPIEST person today and ever!

"Boy,my heart is for u,
and u can't imagine how much i love u..
cause baby boy i dun ever want to let u go
i love u for sure,
and i dun wana stop this love..
cause i dunno if i can let u go,
my heart is for real and i know exactly how u feel :)
cause u know nothing that impossible,as long we altough will be unbreakable..
an u know

"nothing that impossible,as long we altough will be unbreakable"

..
I DUN EVER WANT TO LET U GO,

and there's no left i can say..

" Boy,
my HEART is for YOU,and YOU can't IMAGINE how much i love you x) "

me,
the girl who loves you MOST x)

silly? I THINK NOT!!

it's gettin late.. secara jam sana sama sini beda jauhh!! well it's not a big PROBS!!
last thursday,i met him for REAL. and hell yeah!!..
he's tottally good in every way.
even if sometimes he did some play and made me cried.well,it's kinda funny.
anyway..
Mr.D.T.G, even ;
ngga sabaran even semenit,
yang bikin kuku gw udah patah 3,
batal ngedance terpaksa naik motor ngebut hampir 8 menit dari puri sampe T.A ampir mampus,
isengin sampe gw nangis di starbucks padahal dia liatin gw dr atas ckckck..,
and guess what?
sampe bela-belain minum fattening pills buat nge-test..hahaha
then blablablablabla....
tapii it's very challanging!!
he gave me a rose before we had a dinner, woke me up and set a table for a breakfast..
and so much more..
there's a time i relized he's the best i ever had.
i 'll never say," i'll always love u!!" aaaaa BULLSHIT!! permainan kata-kata..:)
i love the way he starrin' at me the way he hug me,
the way he kissed me tenderly..
and the way he made me happy all the time..
he gave whatever i wanted.
even if i can't always give like he gave to me,but i'll do everything to make this long last..
some of my friends said,
"cher,u're crazy over him!definitely!"
then i said, "YES,I DO. he's very honest in every single part. and i am very appriciate,i do respect it,even if about his darkside. all of his confenssions that he told me.it'll never take me down. cause why? i don't care about what shit happened in his past.i know him well now. and guess what? i do love him dude!" that's my answers..
haha,


love yaa tigana!!