chapters of laughter and pain.

what you would do if there only 2 choices,walk away and move on,or just stay till the final hours and you'll must move on.its just a simple words but hard to do,maybe this is just another story of love story.it's not about a giving up..it's about,limit.limit of my capability of being myself.sometimes i feel like walking around a dark room and find a needle.difficult..

i saw a scar.i need a bandage to wrap this scar so i could stop the bleed off.but sometimes when i feel lonely i really wanna rip the scar and yell to a thousand liar around me.''STOP LYING BASTARD!BACK OFF."

part one,

i found a light when i was cried aloud on my knees,restless,hopeless..then someone came along brought a candle and stay by my side.hugged me from the backside and said "it's gonna be alright,i'm here.."

suddenly i lost my fear for a while.and the tears won't dancing all around my eyes,there's a little smile.yes,i put on my lips politely.

part two,i called it process..

then i told every fears that i've got,i tried to open my heart and unlock it.thousand questions are written on my head,saids"am i ready?"..while you always trying to put ''trust and new other life" inside me..

i called it,process

part three,

i called it a brand new happiness in my life,i almost never believe that it can be happen to me.even you must share your life into 2 different partner.but this is my decision,i'll try no matter how hard the risks i have to keep it up..

part four,

cat fight..

arguing,arguing,and arguing about past..i wast try to let him know that i am done with my past,this is present,and thats why i live.and guess what you're still not believe me...then i'm thinking that i'm really done whit these kinda shits!i'm tired of every dramas we made,of leaving everything for thousand times.and you're still running and wanting me to stay while i said i've had enough..

part five..

it's hard if i'm saying,''i guess this is good bye.." i wish i can fake the hurt that i have inside,the fake that i should make when i'm not okay to you,and surrounds me.the fake that i should make when there's no call or message from you.this is another story about moving on,isn't it? what about there's a day that you won't be there when i really mean it to say good bye and leave you for real?

part six,

i'm still here with you in a different rooms,we talked by these message in my phone,i've choose read it and write another blog,cause ..nothing left to say..

dear life please be nice.

love,

S.A 5:33 pm.